Marriage Goals

I have been married for 11 years and there are a few times we have been referred to as "marriage goals".

Mostly from young, newer couples. 

Some who have never been married as well as a few who are.

I will admit that it makes me proud. 

Our outward appearance as a couple actually represents our inner selves. 

Its something I SHOULD be proud of.

Inside I am prouder than anyone who pays me that compliment would ever know.

Thats because I know what it took to get where we are. And even now, not every day is perfect. 

I appreciate those imperfect days, cherish them, in fact.
They keep me humble and hungry to improve. 

Marriage is work. 

Just like any job, project, passion or hobby, the more work you put into it the better the outcome.
The more you’ll appreciate it. The more beautiful it will be. 

Obviously.

Marriage is no different. It may not be manual labor but it is a labor of love.

It sure as hell isnt Monday - Friday, 8am-5pm. Its every minute of every day.

Marriage is a choice. Plain and simple.

The decision to get married and stay married is a choice. 

You make it every single day.

You CHOOSE your person and they CHOOSE you, every day.

Some days are hard. There may be days that you dont want to choose your person anymore.

You may not be chosen either. It’s normal.
It’s what you do next that matters. 

Those are the days that are your stepping stones to "marriage goals".

(Whatever that means)

Its choosing the person when they arent perfect. (Hint: There's no such thing)

Its being gracious and appreciative that you are still chosen when you are not your best. 

 Its forgiving the person when they make mistakes because they will.
It’s forgiving yourself.

 Its carrying your weight, and carrying theirs when life calls for you to, and it will.

Its saying all the hard things even when it hurts. That’s where the change happens.

Its accepting there is no growth without growing pains.

Its learning to both shut up and communicate at the same time.

I want to be the best person I can be so I can give him the best of me.
I don’t always succeed and have failed miserably.
I have been selfish which taught me that I never committed  myself.
I have been hurtful which taught me that I was hurting.
I have been resentful which taught me that I had no clue how to communicate.
I have been spiteful which taught me that forgiveness doesn’t come with a debt.
I have been dishonest which taught me humility.
I have been too hard which taught me it’s ok to be vulnerable.
I have been closed off which taught me there is safety that comes with letting others in.

Self improvement requires introspection and sometimes it’s painful.
To look inside ourselves and admit our failures. Discuss our shortcomings.
It’s embarassing. It’s humbling.
It’s necessary.

So I say ...Thank you!
Now, go get ready to work, fail, try, give up, decide to try again!

Nothing worth having comes easy. 

It’s not because we are special.
It’s not because we are the perfect wife or husband. We aren’t.
We’ve made mistakes, big and small.
But we’ve learned from every one of them and are better for it.

It works because we made our marriage OUR goal.

To some, my husband and I, and the life we have worked for, bled for, and fought for, are marriage goals.
To us, it’s just a life and a love we refuse to give up on.