This Sober Life
oh- how many pictures I have like this but with wine.
This Sober Life
Day 1- Feel sick and sweaty. Definitely cant stomach a drink but desperately want to open a bottle of wine. Slept ok.
Day 2- Give me a cape because im SUPER IRRITABLE. Get out of my face world! Kids came home from school...where's my wine? Oh yah, never mind. Slept ok.
Day 3- Very agitated this morning. Worked out really hard and angry, and felt better. Bit of a headache. Concert with the best friend today! Got home late. Didnt drink! WHY AM I SO OILY?!
Day 4- Woke up tired and sweaty, still have that headache. Felt good though. First sober outing lead to a clear head waking up. Did I just have a fun night out surrounded by alcohol and didnt drink? WHOA! Really wanted a drink in the PM. That 3 o'clock calling is a real bitch. Got a bunch of DP. Drinking out of a wine glass helps!
Day 5- Headache is a little better. Not sleeping well but feeling positive. I now want to EAT EVERYTHING! Blueberry scones are Keto, right?
Day 6- Well great, Im grinding my teeth and sweating all night. EW!! Mouth guard time. Wish I could have a drink and relax!!
Day 7- Still have a headache- Chugging water. I have good energy and dont want to fight anyone today! YESSS!!
Week 1 Recap- Shitty sleep, sweaty and oily, headache from hell, want to fight everyone. Mentally strong and feeling positive about my efforts. ALL HAIL DIET DR PEPPER.
Day 8- Headache- slept ok- ordered sober books.
Day 9- still cant sleep well. Waking up all the time. No one needs to start their day at 1am Megan. GO TO BACK TO SLEEP! God I want a drink. Need to stay busy- but feel less anxious.
Day 10- Woke up feeling great!!! Cried in my closet for a while about Mom. Closet crying is better than cork popping! PFT. Says who. Staying strong though.
Day 11/12 - really great days! No complaints. Feeling good, clean, clear and positive. FINALLY!
Day 13- low day. not sure why. Any time id catch a feeling id pour a drink, so who knows whats going on. Time will tell. Family is super patient with me though. Being tired really domino effects my whole fkn day!
Day 14- Slept well!!! HALLELUJAH!! Keeping this diet in check is hard- I am craving sweets like crazy!!
Week Two Recap- Ditched the headache, caught some Zs, had much better hours overall. THIS NAKED MIND CHANGED MY LIFE!!
Day 15- Woke up from an incredibly real dream about Mom. Havent had one in FOREVER- maybe only 3 other times. I was crying in my pillow. God I miss her. Overall feel good! I had a great day! Slept good again.
Day 16/17/18- Fighting the food monster and the wine witch - LORD HELP ME!! Jaw is tight- but had a good day! Wish I wasnt so tense...not sure I really like sober me. Shes a pain in the ass.
Day 19- Woke up with a panic attack at 1am- didnt take anything tho! Was tired but level headed most of the day. Its variable by the hour it feels My face is less puffy and so is my belly.
Days 20/21- No new complaints. Just drinking my evening DP in my wine glass. I am killing it in the gym! Im very clumsy though and I am feeling drunk, like my brain is in backwards at times.
Week 3 Recap- best week yet! I feel like my memory and brain function is improving. Coordination too.
Week 4 Recap- Mostly good days. Got a little sick/virus. Had 2 days waking up feeling hung over. WEIRD. Didnt know that was a thing! Took some naps. Stayed as active as I could.
Day 29- was a hard day. Missing mom more than usual today not sure how to deal with it. Cried a lot and made Austin snuggle me.
Days 30-35 - good days!! Just staying focused. Trying to sleep. Learning a lot about myself- its exciting to day dream about your life and what you want to do with it. Did I never care before?? Maybe not. Its all a blurred mess up there some times. I read it can take a year to reset all the chemical fuck ups in my brain. Great! I do feel cognitively better already though.
Days 36-49- Doing ok. There are hit and miss hours in the afternoon. I am too damn high strung. These kids get to me, then I get to me, then I feel like Ive lost control. I need to remember to breathe. Everything is ok. How to deal with kids, conflict and relaxation is effing hard. Where's my wine! :( But that aside- Im feeling GOOD not drinking. Other than not being able to react appropriately Im not missing it all that much.
Day 50- TERRIBLE SLEEP. TERRIBLE DREAM - I broke my molar while sleeping. Woke up SICK dry heaving trying to puke over the side of my bed. Dreamed I found Austin at the bottom of my childhood pool. Too vivid. Ill never forget it. Not ok.
Day 51-59 - Sleeping better. Everything is better. I am so thankful I dont feel like shit everyday. I definitely spend most of my time thinking. I believe good things will come. How can one change their life and their life not change? It cant!!
Day 60!!!- well Im sharing my blog today. I have set new goals, Im making life plans, I have a big reward coming up for myself in a couple months. My kids are doing awesome. We ALL seem much happier, relaxed. We talk more, laugh more. I am trying to stick to my diet but I crave food because I cant drink. Its gotten MUCH better. On my tired days its harder to control myself. I cannot believe I haven't gained (OR LOST) any weight since I gave up drinking. WOW! On to the next 60 days!
